Scarecrow

I'm currently trying to gather my thoughts and feelings about tonight. I should never doubt that everything happens for a reason. Today was a strange mix of familiarity and unending change. I had my last final this morning and afterwards felt like I was leaving from my last day of high school or something. It was a very strange and brought back a lot of emotions from years ago. I was hoping to get an article done that I have been slowly trying to finish for one of my classes, but it didn't really happen. I spent most of the day at my favorite place on campus...Hunt Union. haha. I went to lunch with Cindi and Barb, two of the women that I work with, that I just love to pieces. They are such wonderful and caring people and have looked after me so much this past semester. I am going to miss seeing them every morning.

After that I covered for Rachel at work and then came back and got ready for Amanda and Kasey's graduation party. I went over for awhile, but didn't stay long, because everyone was smoking in the living room, and I can't afford to be around that before my drug test for my internship. So I went home and chilled by myself for awhile. I was pretty bummed though, cause I was hoping to hang out with everyone and have a good time, but I obviously didn't want to be the buzz kill of the party, so I just left. Unfortunately, I was hoping my friends might notice and maybe pretend like they care, but I guess I was just being a baby about the whole thing. I'll get over it like I always do.

This is where fate comes in. I went to the show at the autumn tonight by myself, again I thought some people were coming with me, but no. But it turns out that it was OK, because I had the most amazing time being in my own little world. It's a rare occasion that I am fully alive and overjoyed to be out by myself. This was one of those times. I did run into a bunch of people that I knew, and I hung out with them, but after the emotional day that I had I still felt alone at first.
I hung out with Dave Alfano for a few minutes when I got there, and I saw Kasumi, my Gambler friends, Kuta, and George Marshall, but I spent the most time with my friend Rhiannon. She has to be one of the nicest, sweetest people I've ever met and I hope I get to see her a lot over the summer.

So when I got there this band Boverdose was playing and they were pretty good. THEN the headlining act actually went on next. The name of the band was The Duke and The King. The lead singer is Simone Felice (aka one of the Felice Brothers)...who are amazing and if you haven't heard them you should check them out. They started with a Felice Brothers song, Scarecrow. Here are some of the lyrics:

Tracy, don't you wake that scarecrow tonight

Well, the man cries,"Who gives a damn when a tramp dies?"
But I loved you there in the lamp light
With your bare thighs
And the halo of your hair alive

And all my lifelong
I'll never shake off your siren song
And all of your talk about dying young
With an iron lung and that crazy way

You said, "Simon,I think I might stay here with Scarecrow tonight
Simon, I think I'm gonna stay here with Scarecrow tonight."

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So I was feeling pretty blue...until they played this song. I have literally never felt my emotions lifted off of me like I did during this song. Simone's voice and charisma are so overwhelming. Rhiannon agreed with me when I said that I really felt like I was having some sort of spiritual experience. I'm not sure my words could fully express what I felt.

But that was when I decided that I was going to lose myself in the night. I just wanted to succumb to the life around me and breathe. And I did. It was incredible. It's true when they say that sometimes you need to lose yourself in order to find yourself and I think that will be more and more true as the days go by.

So then Mike Amari (aka Mike Lovesick) and his randomly, well-put-together band (my friends Adam, Dan, Dan, and Jesse, and a few others) played. It was the best I think I've ever seen Mike before. It was like a second spiritual experience. *sigh*...so good.

I wanted Izzy to come stay the night, after the day that I had, but he was tired and I completely understand. I feel like today was definitely a do-it-on-your-own kind of day. Anyway, Rhiannon and I left the show before the Gambler played and went to get some pizza with her dude, Rich. It was a fun time and I got to see YONKAHS! Then they walked me home, the end.

I wish I could explain in detail everything else that has happened to me lately, but to sum it up quickly....I worked OH-Fest with Rachel and the tech gang (it was tons of fun), last weekend I went with my girl Rachel to HeadyFest (which was also a lot of fun), Izzy and I are official now =] , I got my internship at BethelWoods (YAY!!!) and it's approved, I just have to have a blood test for it on Monday, I have surgery on Wednesday, and I graduate in a week. Insanity.

Plus, I thought I might get lonely at my aunt's house this summer, especially when she goes to Alaska for 3 weeks, but I've talked to soooo many friends that live or are going to be living within an hour from me. I don't think that's bad at all. YAY!! Things are starting to come together.

Anyway...I'll update again soon. I love you all. <3